Eat me. Or not.

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We’re gonna have a problem here…

(Sorry for spamming you all with my desperate whining and crying from last night, though… one thing I really can’t stand is having my sleep interrupted rudely.)

Guys, today is the first day of the rest of my life. What a totally pointless assertion, I know, but all day, I’ve had feelings of being reborn. Courtesy of my lovely roomie, C, I present to you, the REAL JENNY.

You know, the Jenny that actually eats carbs, sugar, and cheese. Goodbye Splenda Jenny, hello all-around, super-bad-for-you, but-oh-so-delicious refined sugar Jenny!

Ooh, my head hurts already just thinking about it.

All right, so I’m exaggerating a little. This blog, after all, is a mostly healthy-living blog. I just let myself get a tad bit crazy today because you know, I can eat food now.

DISCLAIMER: Still no camera, but my parents are buying me a DSLR when I go home for Thanksgiving! Do you guys have any recommendations, such as Canon vs. Nikon?

Since our obnoxious neighbors threw that massive party last night, M and I were forced to stay awake until midnight and eat brownies. Yes, you read that clearly. Forced. And you know what? The brownies were absolutely amazing. 

And at 5:30am, I got to have my first bowl of oatmeal in 2 MONTHS!!! Brown sugar, maple syrup, almonds, and frozen blueberries will never let you down.

I was a total zombie at work.

Obviously, managing martial arts tournaments is oh-so-strenuous.

Then, at 11am, C picked me up to get Cheeseboard pizza! Seriously, if you guys are ever in Berkeley, it is quintessential that you stop there. They make only one type of pie per day, and it’s always vegetarian, but all their ingredients are fresh, local, organic, and in-season, and it’s basically the best thin crust you’ll ever have.

Trust in the Yelp reviews, m’dears.

Today’s pizza: cremini mushroom, onion, goat cheese, mozzarella, garlic, and fresh herbs.

While I don’t have pictures of me stuffing my face from today, I’ll treat you to pictures from past Cheeseboard experiences:

Yes, this is definitely how the Cheeseboard experience plays out.

Happy faces every time. I swear it’s like Chuckie Cheese’s. Or McDonald’s. Which ever one has the “happy people” slogan.

And since Cheeseboard also has a legit cheese shop and bakery next door, I just HAD to buy a gigantic loaf of raisin and almond challah bread. I just had to.

Post-lunch nap, grocery shopping (in which I bought NORMAL THINGS! Like crackers! and cheese!), and then dinner for my wonderful roomie M’s birthday! We went to his favorite Indian restaurant, and I basically buried my face in some bhindi masala (sautéed okra with onions and tomatoes) and some roti/naan bread.

And when we went for frozen yogurt dessert, I did NOT hold back. (Pictures coming soon.) Red velvet cake, Ghirardelli chocolate, and Kona coffee with cookie dough and waffle cone bits? Yes please.

So how do I feel?

Truthfully, my tummy isn’t too pleased with me. My first day off the detox has been a bit of a wild one, and I wouldn’t normally stuff myself with this much indulgent food in one day. (Well, not usually, anyway!)

This detox has been one of the hardest projects I have ever undertaken. Not only was my willpower and determination constantly being tested, but so was my creativity and innovativeness. 

I wasn’t allowed to eat many of the foods that I absolutely love, and having to come up with recipes that were flavorful, healthy, and dynamic was something that did get draining - particularly when I was dead tired and stressed out. Funnily, eating mostly fruits, veggies, nuts, and legumes wasn’t all that hard.

Sure, I had to be careful to avoid wheat and/or grain products, and you would be astounded to realize just how many products have added-sugar, but the hardest part was probably dealing with the other people.

I would get so many questions and comments, such as

• What is the point of your diet? Why are you doing this? Does it actually work?
• Ugh, you’re not doing it to lose weight, are you? That’s so silly.
• Seriously, are you still not eating normal foods?

While most of the comments were not meant to be harmful, I often felt like I was being judged harshly or negatively for my eating choices. My eating habits did interrupt a big part of my social life, since I couldn’t always indulge in restaurants or wild nights out, and breaking bread (hahaha pun intended) with others was always an inconvenience.

However, the point I want to firmly drive home is that I do not regret a single moment. While difficult, this detox remains one of the coolest things I’ve ever accomplished.

Where will you go from here?

Today aside, I hope to continue eating a diet based mostly on fruits, veggies, nuts, legumes, etc. I do think that your body needs a little bit of sugar and cheese, and definitely whole grains. Everything in moderation, of course!

The last few weeks, I’m not sure if it was due to my stress levels or not, but I definitely started feeling a drain on my energy levels. Maybe a detox like the one I did has diminishing marginal returns. The first few weeks, I felt fantastic, but as time wore on, my body probably couldn’t carry on as efficiently, and I started feeling sicker and less energetic.

Of course, I’m pulling these hypotheses out of my butt without any sort of scientific backing, so take everything I’m saying with a grain of salt. 

Would I recommend the detox?

I say yes, but definitely be prepared, and maybe only limit it to about 4 weeks.

Now, even though it’s Saturday evening and there’s a party back home that the roomies are throwing for M, I have to study for my Stats midterm!

Don’t hesitate to hit me up with questions!

Hi everyone!

Man oh man does it feel good to type in this little post-it box! I have missed you all and missed blogging so incredibly much!

A few updates on my life:

• Things back home are super topsy-turvy right now so my getting-a-new-camera situation is experiencing a little bit of a delay. I’ve been petitioning my parents to send me a new one ASAP but considering I’m about 2500 miles away, I haven’t been able to effectively use my tearful, woe-is-me puppy eyes yet. Oh, woe is me!
• I GET OFF MY DETOX THIS WEEKEND HOLY MOLY! (Just for you guys, I will most likely be borrowing my roomie’s camera to document the event!)
• I’ve been stuffing my face like a pregnant lady, but in the process, have also unearthed my profound love for peanut butter!!
• I’ve learned firsthand that stress symptoms and pregnancy symptoms are eerily similar. Oops, probably shouldn’t announce such things on the internet. Maybe I should bury this comment in a huge block of text. People hate reading dense chunks of words, right? Once a purple elephant tromped all over some cotton candy clouds and ate my spider monkey would you like some ice cream? (Oh, and for those wondering, no I’m not preggers. But thank god my roomie M interned at Nickelodeon this summer; with his connections I would just call up MTV! Helloooo Teen Mom! Just kidding, just kidding!!)
• This week is my one “breather” week before I’m back to diving headfirst into my midterms. No bueno!
• It’s my roomie M’s 20th birthday tomorrow! Happy birthday, mi amor!!!

Detox-related matters:

I’m still going strong!

I can’t take pictures of everything I eat (obviously) but it’s not all that interesting, either. I’m running low on food at the moment, yet I’m saving myself for that first trip to the grocery store after I graduate from my detox!

Just think lots of soup (it’s been miserably rainy and cold here, yet today was beautiful; go figure), sautéed veggies, and applesauce. Oh, to my momma: I tried your mung bean starch noodles! Totally weird, but also totally yummy! 

Now if only you’ll also buy your loving and amazing and totally wonderful daughter a new camera so she can take pretty pictures of her recipes for her awesome blog/readers…

Blog-related matters:

I’m not too sure what I’m going to do with my blog while I’m camera-less, so I might just attack you all with a bunch of random musings.

And silly pictures. 

Circa 2006. It was Gender Bender day. I make for a really thuggish man, don’t I?

Another gem from 2006. Because being mature and having quadruple chins go hand-in-hand, ya know? 

You may think I only post really unflattering pictures of myself, which is totally untrue. I’m always camera-ready.

I want to place this photo at… summer of 2010? Super sexy, am I right?!

And no, I wasn’t dancing provocatively. We were innocently tie-dying shirts!

See?

…What has this blog come to? *hangs head*

Hi everyone,

Per my last post, I won’t be blogging for a few days since my life is in a bit of a wreck right now (for serious, this time, not just me being my usual drama queen self).

I’m sorry for letting any of you down, but even if I could blog, it’s official - my camera is broken and won’t turn on.

That being said, today is also day 56 of my detox, aka I’ve reached 8 weeks and I only have one week left! I want to say that I’m finishing off on a strong foot, but I may or may not have fallen off the wayside. Eeeek!

I’ll be back by October 15th to formally wrap up my detox but in the meantime, I’ll miss you all!

Hey friendsies!

Something about having midterms staring you down with a growl and a stink-eye is a really transformative phenomenon. And people transform in different ways.

For the lucky ones, they become focused, productive, and studious people, and their drive for that ever elusive A brings out the best of them. For me personally, I become a raging, hormonal, tearful, short-tempered, messy, binge-eating, and unproductive train wreck. 

And that was all just a gigantic tangent to tell you that I’ve finally earned a reprieve - I only have one midterm next week!! Wahoooo!

Naturally, I’ve been in quite the chipper mood.

This morning, even though I slept in until 8am (holy moly did that feel soooo good), I had to bond with the toilet for a little bit. I think that frozen yogurt from last night did a number on my tummy. TMI? Sorry.

After researching low-fiber foods… which happen to include 

• refined flour
• white/bleached flour
• fruit and veggies! (but only if there are no seeds, pulp, or skin involved…)
• peanut butter
• eggs
• meat

I basically crawled into a hole and died. Just kidding.

Hard-soft boiled eggie, with a small handful of nuts, and a sliced up banana!

(I really want to remind you all that I definitely do not photograph EVERYTHING I eat, so don’t be concerned about my portion-sizes or my calorie counts!)

And it was a perfectly beautiful, sunny morning with zero sign of rain, so I had to treat myself to the world’s best salad.

Unwrapping these babies is just like Christmas morning!

I could wax poetic for days about this place. Oh wait, I already did.

So finally, for the part that I am most excited to talk about:

C’s dadders and step-mom are here from Virginia! And since her dad is just as food crazy as we are, if not more, their arrival could only mean a glorious food weekend for the lady.

However, me being the fabulous roommate and all, and also because they’re just awesome, they treated a couple of us to dinner!

This place is amazing. If you’re ever in the East Bay, drop by. Order their tea leaf salad. Stuff the entire thing in your face and don’t share.

Also, show up an hour early because last year when C’s dad came for parents’ weekend, the wait for a table was 75 minutes long.

We started off with some good conversation and a huge coconut to sip out of!

This thing was way too much fun!

Our lovely dinner company! You guys recognize A, L, and H, right?

And our server was pretty cool so naturally I had to take a picture of him. Don’t worry, I did tell him I have a blog before I snapped the photo… at least I think I did.

BUT THEN TRAGEDY STRUCK - MY CAMERA DIED! I don’t know what it is. It won’t turn on. It’ll plug into my computer and upload and everything, but I think I finally wore it down.

That being said, once I steal the photos from C, I’ll edit this post with more pictures for you all. In the meantime, I may have to seriously take a blogging hiatus until I get my hands on another camera. (Maybe even a DSLR?!)

This camera (Nikon S4000) was a gift from my ex-boyfriend after he dropped my old one and broke it. For all you men out there, the best way to assuage your furious girlfriend is to immediately put down your xbox controller, stop playing Call of Duty 4, and take her shopping for a new one.

The first time I got to play with my camera!

*weeps*

I need to stop going on tangents. My mind is all over the place. I think it’s because I’m still in a food coma and all I want to do is curl up and paint my nails.

I love assonance. 

Yes, I said assonance, not ass. Though if I were a man, I think I would still be a butt guy. Boobs just look a little bit suffocating and not the least bit fun, you know? 

My dinner and dessert definitely went straight to my ass.

I’m hitting you guys with a bunch of photo spam because let’s be honest, how many of you actually read my posts word for word? I won’t be mad if you do! I think I would only fast-forward to all the pictures, too.

You just miss out on all my corny really bad jokes. Which may or may not be a burn… Don’t starve yourself from comedy. Even if it’s in bad taste. Man, I need to stop.

But back to the ASSonance.

I come up with the worst blog titles. They’re usually really bad puns, annoyingly chipper adjective + noun combos with an exclamation mark, alliterating and/or rhyming spiels, or just really bad passes at language. 

I’m a language tool. Fool. Cool.

I’m going to stop now.

Don’t blame me.

Blame the dessert.

But first, dinner.

• One block tofu, cubed
• Half an onion, diced
• 2 cups of whatever veggies you want
• 1 cup of curried lentils

Action shot! 

I had to transfer pans because the one in the previous picture was obviously too small. Hindsight is always 20/20. #rookie mistake

Regardless, instructions:

1. Caramelize the onions first for about 5 minutes over med-low heat
2. Throw in the tofu and the curried lentils, sauté for about 5 more minutes
3. Add the veggies [insert action shot here]
4. Season with S&P and any other spice that suits your fancy 
5. Poke at everything with your spatula for another 5 minutes

Easy peasy. I should write cookbooks. It’d probably have a 5:1 corny joke to recipe ratio.

Topped with a sprinkling of cranberries because… well, just because.

I curse at you, bad lighting! (and crappy point-and-shoot camera). Someone buy me a nice DSLR, please? All my money goes to food and I’m a broke college student!

*cough* Momma? *cough cough* Dadders?

I managed to sit and be good for about an hour before I bullied my roomies M and K into joining me for a froyo run. Once you complete midterms for the week, frozen yogurt is totally necessary.

Starting photo spam in 3…

2…

1…

and Go!

M testing out my camera angle. What a sexy beast. (Are you wearing lipstick, lovey?)

Take #1. K: “Eww, bad photo of me! We need to redo it.”

Take #2: M. The end.

We met up with our froyo buddy, B! This picture is also possibly one of the worst ones of me ever. I look like I’m 2 feet tall with no neck and an impossibly fat head.

Jenny the Bobblehead Doll. Limited edition, call now for free shipping!

B got free froyo!!!

The girl claimed that the previous order was messed up and the customer didn’t want it anymore… but I was in front of B in line and I definitely did not get offered a free Small thin-mint cookie froyo with M&Ms. 

It’s because she thought he was cute. I can see right through you, guurlfraaan!

Have I mentioned before how this froyo is like crack? Here’s proof:

M, K, and B all have crack-baby faces.

You know what face I’m referring to, right? That one you get right after your brain gets hit with all that serotonin or dopamine and you’re in your happy place and nothing will get in the way of your pursuit for more except that there’s an annoying girl asking to take a picture of you for her blog and all you want to do is get it over with so you smile briefly before you can faceplant back into that glorious glorious substance in your hand…

I may or may not have let myself buy a “small” size tonight. “Small” deserves to be put in quotes, because that’s a solid 12oz of frozen yogurt.

And being the froyo addict that I am, I even brought my own toppings.

Sugar-free hazelnut amaretto with shredded coconut, dried blueberries, and dried cranberries!

Holy moly. C, my dear, my invisible tuba may be serenading us to sleep tonight. Just warning you.

Howdy hey, everyone!

I swear the weather hates me.

I woke up today to a dark and rainy morning… and sometimes that’s a nice situation to be in, if all you have planned for the day consists of curling up on the couch with tea and a movie. I luckily had a paper and a midterm today! Yippee! Not.

Last night was also so cold that my fingers and toesies were numb when I got up. It’s only October! This weather is not fair!

Are there any detox-friendly warm breakfasts?

It’s only a waiting game until October 15. I can smell the end!

Yogurt with sliced banana, frozen berries, shredded coconut, chia seeds, honey, and cinnamon!

It’s a crappy morning already when you have to take an exam first thing in the morning, but it’s a way crappier morning when you have to march to that exam in the rain.

Friends, I should not major in Chinese.

I was ripped a new one after that class. (And frankly, any exam that centers around how Chinese Americans’ socioeconomic situation has improved since the 1940s does not deserve to exist.)

Someone needs to invent a sneaker that’s waterproof. Marching through puddles with tennis shoes and then slipping and sliding your way through the gym is just too much fun to share with the world.

By the time I got home (and getting splashed by cars driving by), I was ready for a hot shower and soup!

Frozen veggies, one egg, and some of my momma’s dried seaweed!

I basically throw half my spice collection into these broths.

But some things just always work out in the end, no matter what you do to them.

Oooh, yeeeah.

And of course, by the time I was showered and dried and warm, the sun came out! I don’t know if I believe in karma, but whatever I did to you, Mother Nature, I’m deeply sorry. Please cut me some slack next time!

P.S. Momma, I loved the seaweed, but I love you more!

Here in the bubble universe of college, there are a few foolproof indicators that midterm season has arrived.

• Stressed-out, high-strung students ✓
• Unsympathetic and overwhelmed professors ✓
• Rain ✓
• Sideways rain ✓✓
• Notecard shortage in the student store ✓
• Inordinate amounts of sugar consumption and tears ✓ (Well, no sugar for me…)
• Irregular bowel movements ✓ (I can’t be the only one, right?)
• Ugg boots and black leggings ✓✓✓✓✓
• Multiple exams in one week ✓ (WAAAH!)
• Diminishing GPAs ✓ (*dies*)

I was so excited for October, and now you guys all probably hate me because all I can focus on is how much I’m freaking out. Oh college, how you slay me! I would almost rather choose hangovers than have to watch my grade drop more…

Just kidding! (Kind of.)

So anyway, this morning I woke up to a nice, gentle rain, and lollygagged in my warm, comfy bed for about an hour. I finally got up at 8am and felt absolutely zero guilt since my morning class got cancelled (it’s a love/hate thing I’ve got going on with my Econ professor right now), and I didn’t have to be a normal person until 1pm!

Breakfast was my usual yogurt bowl… which I still love wholeheartedly, but man, am I excited to break into my stash of oatmeal again!

1/2 cup of nonfat plain yogurt, 1/4 cup of almond milk, 1/3 banana, small handful of almonds, and cinnamon!

It was actually quite the lovely morning because I was able to sprawl out on the couch and watch TV/take care of my little tutoree… tutorette… tutor student?

It had even stopped raining, and with the sun out, everything was quite happy-go-lucky in my warm little nest on the couch!

A bright and cheery salad for lunch:

With romaine lettuce, baby carrots, diced onions, tomatoes, almonds, raisins, avocado, and a dollop of hummus. I eat weird things, I know.

And dessert! Ice cream and chocolate, oh yeaaah. And here’s when things started slipping downhill.

I’m like a crack baby. But for chocolate. Give me a little lick of chocolate, and suddenly, I’m wired and addicted and fiending for more. I think my eyes probably pop out of their sockets a little, and then I start salivating, and panting, and my muscles start twitching… okay, not really, but I do love chocolate!

Regardless, I nibbled my way through a few more snackies, but managed to stop before things got too out of hand. And then shoved myself off to class before I was tempted to go back for more… Naturally.

And as I happily skipped along, it started raining! For anyone who cares to know, I was that crazy girl wearing little running shorts and canvas tennis shoes, tromping through puddles without an umbrella. (I keep missing the “it’s rainy season bring an umbrella” memo.)

Sooo, I decided to preserve what little ounce of dignity I have left, and ran home to grab my bright pink, broken umbrella. Because dignity is dignity, you know?

Class, then gym, then home to discover a goodie waiting!

My momma, bless her heart, sent me a care package to pacify all my whining!

But holy moly, I don’t know what half those things are! Yuba, mung beans, mung bean starch noodles, some dried berries of unknown classification, dried seaweed, and dried goji berries.

I feel like an evil scientist staring at these packages. Great things will come of it, I’m sure!!

That is, great things only after I get off Tumblr and survive these next few days… I have a paper and a midterm tomorrow! Dang it, college, why can’t you go easy on me for once?!

Finally, a respite. 

Let me start off with saying I’m sorry for spamming you all with my pre-midterm panic. The last few days, I was an absolute mess.

My friends and momma definitely suffered through enough “HOLYMOLY I’M DYING” text messages to fill their inboxes, and my poor thumbnail has been nibbled down to the quick.

I’m just a classy lady, what can I say?

And then today, at 3:45pm, it was finally the moment of truth. What was the truth? Quite frankly, I don’t know. It didn’t feel like I did too well, but my post-examination emotions are never a good indicator of my actual performance.

You and I will merely have to suffer through the suspense together! 

A quick post-exam spin class with my girl, M…

And then a quicker shower and a not-so-quick boogie down to her apartment for healthy blondies! I needed a break. Desperately. Badly. Oh so very badly.

And M was gracious enough to let me come over and sprawl all over her couch in exhaustion. What a sweetheart.

We baked! (No, not with weed.)

Maybe it’s all this rain that puts people in the baking mood… Her roomies R and D made a chocolate chip cookie pie tonight, too… Oh yeah. Glorious? Glorious. (If only I was able to taste it.)

And possibly my favorite feature of their apartment - their kittypie!

We make baking look good. You better believe it.

This thing looks indistinguishable from regular cookie dough. The wonders of garbanzo beans.

And while our pie was baking, R and D’s finished cooking…

Look at these babies! Evil twin and good twin.

But holy moly, there’s no compromise on taste whatsoever.

Approval of M’s roommates: Granted.

The good twin wins this round.

Q: What are you doing on Tumblr?

A: I would like to increase my total factor productivity. It just isn’t happening.

Q: Why aren’t you studying?

A: Marginal productivity of labor

Q: Why are you taking pictures of your book and tea?

A: Because my desired investment in maintaining my happiness is greater than my desired saving of my Macro grade.

Q: What are some basic assumptions for your lunch?

A: I’m a health-maximizing person, so I utilize my resources accordingly, i.e. roasted veggies.

Q: And what was your total output?

A: Y = C + I + G, aka consumption of roasted veggies and harvest corn soup + investment of time in making it + government because somehow government is in everything.

#man i am such a dork

Good morning, my friends.

It’s the end of the world as I know it. I’m dying a slow and torturous death.

I swear, last night was misery in a nice little box, wrapped with sparkly pink ribbon and sprinkled with gold glitter.

You know those signs of approaching death?

• trouble breathing (definitely not attributed to my pre-midterm panic)
• cold extremities (no, it’s not because it was cold and rainy last night)
• body held in rigidity (don’t tell me it’s because I ate too much ice cream to move)
• severe agitation or hallucination (goes without saying)
• declared impending death (what am I doing now?)

(Don’t believe me? Here’s the source.)

I definitely suffered through all of them last night. Buuut, somehow, I’m awake alive! and typing.

And I realized I have the most massive ice cream hangover ever.

So no, I’m not anorexic. I just can’t eat. Something about an upset tummy, ya know?

I’m sleepy.

It’s been pretty chili here tonight.

Bahaha, chili. Get it?! 

Oh my gosh, I’m unhinging mentally. These Macro graphs are getting to me. Labor and capital and total factor productivity and REALLY, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN CUBAN WORKERS EMIGRATE TO MIAMI?!

(Especially when they have human capital endowments well above the median for workers in Cuba…?)

You know what, I’ll tell you. Miami ends up with a great Latino culture. I want a sandwich. Is Pitbull Cuban?

So I had chili for dinner, because it’s been raining and I’m sitting here in sweats surrounded by my Econ study guides, gently weeping to myself because Solow is a jerk and won’t tell me what happens when the government provides large tax incentives for R&D that result in large increases of net exports…

Also, sweet potato disc things. Because sweet potatoes are my ultimate comfort food.

Second only to icecreamgelatofrozenyogurt and chocolate.

Speaking of which,

Chocolate!

And lots of ice cream that went unpictured.

So really. I’m being an unhealthy mess tonight in general because everything is falling apart and I can’t figure out why a negative domestic supply shock will decrease real domestic interest rate in a large open economy.

WHERE’S MY ICE CREAM?!

Dear readers,

If I’m ever missing for more than 24 hours without warning, please go ahead and assume that I keeled over from stress.

Love,

Jenny

—

Holy Monday!

Did you know that the #1 killer in the U.S. is heart disease? And do you wanna know why? It’s because people (like me) have to suffer through a non-stop series of events (as follows) that eventually culminates in heart attacks. *dies*

1. Wake up at 6am, run to the gym, and get glass bottles chucked at you by homeless men. Yes, you heard me. Some demented old man was wandering around at 6:45am with nothing better to do than to throw glass at innocent girls running past. Talk about traumatizing! 

2. Freak out because you lost track of time and realized you only have 30 minutes to eat breakfast and get your butt to class.

Good thing yogurt bowls are so quick and easy.

And so puuuurty!

3. Boogie off to class and zone out inadvertently. Receive dirty looks from your Chinese professor for the rest of lecture. 

4. Shamefully replace your school ID because you dropped your old one on the way home from the gym.

(My high school ID versus my college one! Bahahaha)

5. Run back home because you keep forgetting that on Mondays, your lunch break is only 2 hours long and not 3.

6. Soothe your worries with a lovely salad of shelled edamame, tomatoes, soy crumbles, and lettuce.

7. Admire your salad, then ruefully abandon it because you have to spend the rest of your lunch break on the phone with your dad… going over your Stats homework. (Sidenote: my dad is super smart when it comes to math and science, but somehow, I didn’t get an OUNCE of that gene. Shucks.)

8. Be that weirdo who eats during class because you didn’t have time to eat during your lunch break

9. Find out you failed your Stats quiz (again) and begrudgingly contemplate the probability of surviving if you threw yourself off a cliff.

10. Discover to your displeasure that it dropped 10 degrees and started raining while you were busy lamenting your pathetically bad quiz grade. Curse yourself for wearing shorts and canvas shoes. 

11. Act like it’s cool to walk in the rain with no umbrella, and hide in a cafe with some snacks and a medium coffee. 

12. Attend office hours for help on your Stats homework. Remember too late that you cannot handle caffeine like normal people do, and proceed to fidget, daydream, and distract the other students the entire time.

13. Run home in the rain, cursing your abnormally small, coffee-filled bladder.

And you better believe the day isn’t even close to being over.

Hola, readers!

I’ve been a bad blogger as of late. My posts have been pretty… yawn-worthy, if I do say so myself, and I apologize.

I want to be able to blame it on the amount of schoolwork and other responsibilities I have to juggle in my free-and-flexible college life, but in truth, I’ve been in a solid ice cream coma for the past 24 48 hours.

Shh. Don’t tell anyone. And it’s even more pertinent that we stay quiet because my invisible tuba is peeking around the corner. Let’s not spook it, yeah?

Lunch!

Lunch was practically the same glorious salad as yesterday, except I subbed dried cranberries for dried figs, used extra butternut squash, and ignored the lentils and broccoli altogether.

Some things never get old, ya know? And why fix what ain’t broke? (Hence my reasoning for having yogurt day-in and day-out…)

I wasn’t at home last night, and by the time I got back this morning, my whole schedule was thrown off. It’s an annoying feeling… kind of like that incessant itch on the bottom of your foot that you so badly want to scratch but can’t, and so you resort to desperate tap-dance-like measures.

And if anyone wants to know, yes, I am sitting here tap dancing with my feet.

This afternoon I pretty much lazed about and consumed inordinate amounts of ice cream (what else is new?), and then went to my Macroeconomics study session because I have a midterm this Tuesday!

SOMEONE HIT THE PANIC BUTTON!

…especially because every time I expect my GSI (Graduate Student Instructor) to teach me something, I walk away way more confused than I started out. I think it’s his accent. I know this is bad, but every time he says “prices,” I hear “pizza,” and every time he says “savings and investment,” I hear “spaghetti and insalata.”

I’m kidding. Sorta.

By the time I got home, I was starving for dinner (not that my multiple bowls of ice cream didn’t hold me over, plus I blame my GSI for subjecting me to subliminal food messaging). I needed something quick, so I whipped out my stash of frozen foods.

How does anyone in college survive without enough frozen veggies to last them through the Apocalypse?

• 1 package shirataki noodles, rinsed, drained, and nuked for 2.5 minutes
• 1/2 cup of mixed veggies
• 1 cup of veggie medley (two totally different things, I swear!)
• 1/2 cup of soy crumbles

Stir-fried and seasoned with soy sauce, curry, and S&P

And immediately inhaled. Pacing yourself is so overrated. 

I also got close to zero studying done today, so my dessert got dragged into my bedroom with me…

And naturally, I was promptly distracted by how PINK so many of my possessions are. I don’t even like the color pink all that much. Yellow is so much cooler.

But hey, when you do something, do it big! Moderation is so boring. 

(Speaking of which, since I haven’t really been studying all day today, I should just continue not studying, right? Right?!)

Good morning, everyone!

No, I didn’t have my bean puree meatloaf for breakfast, though knowing me, I probably could have. Rather, I had my usual yogurt bowl but with the rest of my banana and my crumbled macaroons on top. Oh yes.

And for the record, I didn’t burn my macaroons. They’re brown because I doused them in sugar-free hot fudge.

Aren’t I bad?

Oh, but still so good.

Hey folksies!

On the weekends, you can usually count on me to whip out a new recipe that is totally awesome and rave-worthy… well, at least in my humble opinion, but tonight, I have no choice but to let you all down.

I wanted to try out this 2-bean meatloaf, but after mixing everything together, baking for 35 minutes (as the recipe had called for), and then baking for another 25 minutes, the darn thing just wouldn’t set.

I ended up with basically a slop of warm pureed beans with a lovely honey-ketchup glaze.

And by then, I was also way too exhausted to plate nicely and such, so here’s a picture of my hideous (but absolutely delicious!!) dinner on my lap… 

Classy, classy.

And because I can always count on baking to mitigate all my sorrows and woes, I tried to make Chocolate-Covered Katie’s macaroons, but silly me keeps forgetting that you can’t exclude flour in a recipe, no matter how small the amount. 

In other words, they wouldn’t stay together.

My sole survivor!!! How saddening.

They don’t look like much, especially after they crumbled on me, but they sure tasted fantastic!

And while we’re on the topic of appearances versus reality, I think that’s been a pretty consistent trend in my life recently. It’s pretty upsetting to realize that things might not be what they seem.

Last night at the pirate party, I pretended that I was unapologetically wasted when in truth, I was stone-cold sober. However, I did feel uncomfortable at times putting on a show and didn’t feel right being so fake. I also constantly find myself questioning people or situations, and realizing how I had under or over-estimated them (like my Stats homework…), and gave them undeserving credit.

It’s frustrating, no?